Disclaimer: Before we compose this, i will keep in mind that we seldom write on our life but I was thinking it was a tale worth mentioning. Some components of it can be comical, as much meet-the-parents tales are, but please understand that i’m in no real method offending or belittling the mentioned areas of Korean tradition. i am just showcasing the awkwardness that may arise when East sometimes Meets West with regards to relationships. In addition believe that this tale will help other foreigners in similar situations get ready for just exactly what they could encounter.

With just per month left in Korea, my boyfriend, Yongguen, looked to me personally as well as in a no-nonsense tone announced me to meet his parents that he wanted.

In Korea, the organization of dating is much more black-and-white than it really is when you look at the western. There is none of the “It is complicated. ” “we are chatting. ” “we are texting”. “we have been dating for a 12 months but we nevertheless have actuallyn’t had the DTR (determining the partnership) talk. ” No. None of this. After 2 or 3 dates with some body, it really is immediately thought that the relationship that is exclusive been created. Additionally, the total amount of time a few in Korea times may be calculated in similar to dog years. just just What Westerners might start thinking about a time that is short 100 times, for instance- Koreans think about monumental. Once you understand this, we ensured to describe to my boyfriend early on (the very first date) that individuals do things only a little differently into the western. Comprehending that we’d be making Korea, we additionally told him that i did not wish such a thing severe.

We enlisted the aid of my Korean girlfriends. Each had different things to express, several of their advice contradictory. “Wear a sweet gown and heels .” “Wear something casual so that you’re perhaps maybe perhaps not trying too much.” “Bring them a present.” “Don’t bring them something special.” “cannot talk unless they ask you questions.” Well, we knew i possibly could follow through with that final little bit of advice, seeing that my Korean abilities are not the very best.

Once the day finally arrived, we invested the whole afternoon getting prepared. We settled for a dress that is nice nothing fancy- and heels, channeling my internal Koreaness. We headed to Mokdong to get at the restaurant where my boyfriend along with his cousin had been waiting.

Used to don’t mind fulfilling the sibling. He don’t talk English that is much but ended up being relaxed sufficient. We attempted to speak with him about things We knew he had been thinking about, mostly US television shows. Quickly, the moms and dads arrived. Because they took their seats, I endured up to bow properly and wish the dad a delighted birthday celebration, a Korean expression we had practiced 100 times that day. They certainly were friendly sufficient and commented how good we seemed. I possibly could inform they certainly were a bit uncomfortable and uncertain in what to complete. I noticed at the table next to us a Korean family and Western girl about my age as they chatted in Korean. I really could note that the exact same exact thing ended up being happening at their dining dining dining table, that is strange since it’s really unusual in Seoul. Yongguen’s moms and dads quickly saw the ditto and got a kick from it.

We began enjoying our dinner and things had been going extremely efficiently. There is some talk that is small away. About 50 % one hour passed away ahead of the interview that is awkward.

Yongguen looked to me along with a worried phrase on their face. “I’m maybe maybe not asking some of these concerns. I am just translating. And I also’m sorry,” he noted before relaying just exactly what their parents asked. “therefore, in the event that you two get married,” his dad began, “will you clean our ancestral graves?” WTF. Okay. I experienced perhaps maybe not ready because of this. Happily I experienced read some publications thus I had been partly conscious of why Koreans worship their ancestors and generally are constant in beolcho (tidying up their grave web web sites). With no beat, the sorority president I genuinely believe that if somebody marries another from an alternate tradition, she should respect that culture’s traditions. in me arrived on the scene because of the perfect meeting answer, “” I also casually mentioned that i did not need to get hitched anytime soon. They certainly were quite pleased with this solution and proceeded consuming.

We thought We had been within the clear when only a minutes that are few their mother chimed in, “Have you got the concept of taemong in the us?” “Ummm. exactly exactly exactly what’s taemong ?” we asked Yongguen. He explained for me that in Korea, whenever women are expecting, either they or shut feminine family members or buddies could have desires that predict the delivery of these youngster. Particular items dreamed about suggest certain areas of the baby-to-be. For instance, then the baby will be a girl if an aunt dreams about fruit. We quickly remembered a discussion my boyfriend and I also had and therefore his mom imagined a dragon whenever she had been expecting with him, hince the ” Yong ” inside the title, meaning dragon. We started initially to think about a number of the old spouses stories that we now have in the us but nobody actually believes for the reason that material today. Koreans, but, highly rely on taemong .

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. The thing that was I gonna say to appease her? We experienced become direct on this 1 and merely responded, “No, we don’t have any such thing like this in the us.” She did not look happy. Yongguen took a go of soju . We seemed over the dining table at their sibling whom, having a grin across their face, had been enjoying the awkwardness of this situation.

Finally, additional reading the supper completed. We stated goodbye to their parents and Yongguen, their sibling, and I also met up making use of their relative for some rounds of products. We felt fine but my boyfriend was more nervous than I would ever seen him, quickly became intoxicated, and was placed to rest early.

We chatted to him the next night, after he’d spent the afternoon together with his household. He said that the seal had been received by me of approval from their parents. They enjoyed me. okay. All of that worrying for absolutely nothing.

Then he explained his dad desired to simply simply simply take me away to Chuncheon for a few dalk galbi , my personal favorite Korean meals. We felt my belly fall. Not once again.

Overall, every thing went well. We never ever felt judged by my boyfriend’s household and though the concerns had been much more serious than such a thing we might talk about in a comparable meet-the-parents situation into the western, i am believing that these people were more wondering than such a thing. Without having traveled outside Korea, their moms and dads desired to learn more about my tradition, which will be understandable. While there will nevertheless be some parents and older generations that do not need to see their kiddies marry from the Korean competition (no matter if they are now living in Western nations) things are progressing. Folks are getting more available minded and comprehension of the changing times.