I’ve moved around a LOT throughout my 20s and even early 30s (actually since I was a kid). I had to start over and learn how to make friends in a new city each time. Each city has its vibe and personality. In some places, it’s easy to go out and chat it up with strangers; others prove to be much more difficult.

As you get older, you notice that many people have settled into their “permanent lives.” They are where they will stay forever, and they are busy dealing with their families and are much more focused on creating a core group of friends that mimic their own lives. It becomes harder to figure out how to make friends in a new city and meet new people in those instances. You are shunned for being either single or only being there temporarily.

So how do you make friends in a new city? I’ll share some of my experiences, and hopefully, they will help you!

First, Get Comfortable Being With Yourself

Remember, you are better off being alone than being with people who don’t make you feel welcome or who are not interested in forming a real relationship with you. I’m not just alluding to romantic relationships. Bad friendships can also take a toll on your self-esteem and drain your energy.

Instead, first, acclimate to your new city and get familiar with your new surroundings. Get used to wandering around by yourself. Step out of your comfort zone and go out by yourself. Moving to a new city and being by yourself is an opportunity, and you should take it to get comfortable with yourself and get reacquainted with things that YOU love to do.

In addition, when you do this, you become less dependent on others to fill your time, which lends itself to not coming across as desperate or lonely, both of which will make it harder for you to make friends in a new city.

Get to Know People Through Work

The most straightforward strategy when figuring out how to make friends in a new city is to meet people through work. It’s more difficult when you’re older; however, take it if you get an invitation to hang out. Chatting with people outside of the workplace can be very revealing, and often you’ll form a better connection away from the stress and beauracracy that the workplace brings. Even if you aren’t sure if you want to go, it’s better to go and see.

Even if you don’t get invitations to hang out outside of work, make an effort to chat with co-workers and get to know them. Ask them for recommendations for things to do or neighborhoods to check out. Sometimes, people live in a city for so long that they never actually spend any time or effort doing the touristy stuff; however, they might take the opportunity with you.

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Ask Your Friends to Introduce You to People They May Know

Sometimes the best way to meet new friends is through ones you already have. Some of the first people I met when I first moved to southern California were through mutual friends. As you get older, your network expands, and it’s common to find mutual friends almost wherever you go. If there’s someone who is a friend with your friend, then you may have enough in common with them to be friends with them as well.

Join Interest Groups

Hopefully, as you spend more time by yourself, you’ll get reacquainted with your favorite hobbies and pastimes or even pick up new ones. Use that as an opportunity to join interest groups or clubs. One way to do this is to join local Facebook groups that advertise activities and events. It’s a great way to make friends in a new city with the same interests as you!